InterPersonal Excellence with Dina Loomis with Raju Mandhyan

Looking Good and Staying Young

“After a certain age, you get the body and face you deserve. Don’t allow stress, discontent or self-pity to get the better of you. It’s very hard to look young and vital when these tensions are mirrored on your face.”

- Bronwen Meredith

If you sometimes find yourself staring at your mirror, counting the lines on your face, surveying the gray areas in your hair, tracing the flab in your body, and looking helplessly at your bloated tummy, welcome to the club!

These changes that occur in our bodies are just part of the aging process. However, the good news is, we don’t have to surrender and let aging take over our lives.

Age is no longer a limitation to change; but the more we postpone it, the more difficult it is to get our desired results and to undo our acquired bad habits. The possibilities are almost endless. The caveat is, it is not about becoming a flawless beauty queen, a champion runner or a super slim model. We do have the power to reverse the aging process with some knowledge and a little effort.

The new man or woman with an ageless attitude focuses on health, vitality, optimism, and achievement. How you feel, think, and look at any particular moment are what counts. The roles that were once reserved for the young can now be performed almost throughout our lifetime.

How do Sofia Loren, Shirley Maclaine, Robert Redford, Richard Geere, Cory Quirino, Tingting Cojuangco, and Eddie Garcia manage to look good and stay young? The key is to remain interesting and vibrant. Their beautiful image and projection has more to do with personality, presence, and self-confidence rather than actual beauty. Their appeal is their strength of character, knowing what they want and getting what they want.

It has nothing to do with having an ideal weight, height or features. It has everything to do with being sensible, open-minded, physically fit, and possessing an attitude of gratitude. People, who are grateful for being alive and who appreciate what life gives them, project an irresistible aura of charm and self-assurance.

It is our lifestyle that greatly dictates the length and health of our lives. Studies around the world have shown that the following are the main contributing factors for a long and healthy life:

1. A simple diet of natural foods, low in fat, high in vegetables, grains and fruits;

2. Plenty of exercise or outdoor work;

3. A stress-free, relaxed attitude with a positive view of events;

4. Awareness of being useful, needed, and loved;

5. Living a purposeful life; and

6. A degree of genetic influence

Beyond these, it will be of great benefit to us, if we stop dwelling on our imperfections. We can capitalize on our strengths and just continue to correct our weaknesses. We can also learn to like ourselves and our bodies. How we feel about ourselves is more important to our well being than an extra inch or a pound of flesh.

Meaningful work is also vital to our well being. If we do something rewarding, aging is more acceptable. Success is like a magnet—it shows, and it’s youthful.

I have had the great opportunity of observing at close range my own mother, Conchita Torres-Hermosisima, because she stayed with me for over eight years until she passed away last December 29th. I believe if she did not get stricken with cancer, she would still be alive up to now, for she had a zest for life. Her inner beauty and radiant charm was like a magnet to all who knew her. That is why even at the ripe old age of 86, the members of the Philippine Chapter of ALA (American Ladies Auxiliary), comprised of widows of Filipino veterans of World War II, still insisted that she keep on attending their monthly meetings, for she provided “life and spice” to their meetings.

Considering the many ailments that she endured, on top of her cancer, such as: arthritis, angina, ulcer, and insomnia, she still radiated a captivating love of life and sincere care for people, which endeared her to her family, relatives, friends and acquaintances.

What were some of the admirable traits that made my mother stand out and kept her bubbling with joy, despite her old age and many ailments? Let me list them down as follows:

1. She had a forgiving heart. She never held grudges against anyone, even to those who had hurt her in the past. She went out of her way to win back the friendships of people who had put her down and had treated her unfairly. Because our emotions and tensions are reflected in our faces, people who practice the healing power of forgiveness radiate a calm and accepting aura devoid of rancor and bitterness.

2. She maintained a hobby and her interest in people. During her retirement years, she became an avid letter writer, keeping in touch with friends and relatives, both here and abroad. On the average, she wrote four to five letters a day without fail, in her beautiful handwriting and on her customized stationery, sans the benefit of the computer and the internet. She also regularly called friends and relatives over the phone just to find out how they were. Being very friendly, she also quickly developed friendships with our neighbors whom she regularly visited. These activities kept her in touch with life and away from boredom and restlessness.

Another example of this concept is the late President Cory Aquino. After her presidency was over, she took up art lessons and painted flowers and landscapes, which were well appreciated by those who have had the privilege of viewing or owning them. Tita Cory, as she was fondly called, was always brimming with joy when she was immersed in her paintings.

Both my mother and Pres. Cory possessed a deep spirituality that enabled them to survive pain, disappointments, and grief and also imbued them with inner peace. People saw them as beautiful, because their eyes and faces reflected an indescribable beauty brought about by self-acceptance and balance. Their deep faith had gifted them with an ageless look.

Finally, the sensible and practical way of staying young is to be vigilant about our daily routine. While it is almost impossible to always observe moderation in everything we do, we can learn to balance our indulgences with immediate corrective actions. For example, if we indulge in a huge rich dinner one evening, we can limit ourselves to eating only vegetables and fruits the following day. If the night before, we drank too much alcohol, we can help our liver by drinking lots of lemon juice diluted with mineral water today.

For the longest time, Hollywood actress Elizabeth Taylor was considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world, an ageless beauty who found fulfilment and happiness in her chosen field and who always married for love.

It is my hope that, just like Elizabeth Taylor, we can all look at our mirror one day, stare at the lines on our face and the gray in our hair and say, with a smile, “I have earned them.”

all photos from getty images